I'm sad today

I just found out that a good friend of mine tried to commit suicide. He called me today and told me and he's being released from Hospital today. He called me the day after Thanksgiving and left a message (I wasn't home when he called). He didn't give any specifics on the reason why he was in Hospital, but he did say for me not to worry. When he feels alot going on around him (emotionally) he withdraws and places a wall around himself. He gets verbally short and says he's "going through it." I didn't see this approaching at all, but the last time we spoke (on the phone) he was using "God" alot and that was pretty unusual for him. God in the religious meaning, that he has faith, and God will carry us through. I in no way blame myself for his actions, but I feel SSSOOOOooooo sad that he felt that was his only solution. I know he was having difficulty finding a permanent place to live, but he was living with a friend, but it was pretty far from where he worked. On top of that, my ceiling collapsed and the restoration of my apartment displaced me, as well. So *I* didn't even have a place to call home for a short time, and that did complicate the ways I could have helped him. But he does have pride, and he's stayed with me before under times of duress he was going through, and I don't think he wanted to put himself through that again. But, unfortunately, this time I didn't open my home up to him. He's assured me that he'll be ok, and he's saving money to get his own apartment while he was living with his friend. But I know his monetary spending habits (shopping), and was just hoping that he was saving, as he told he was. I told him that the World isn't ready to let him go yet. He is still needed here and he has people to touch and heal, and smiles to give and hearts to warm. I hope he can forgive himself, but I know for him it will be extremely difficult. I'll send him Light. Maybe you can too. Thank You. ∞ Risto ∞